Tuesday 20 January 2015

A Warm And Fuzzy Feeling

My grandmother used to grasp my hand firmly every time we crossed the road ... even after I'd grown up and become a mother myself  . And when she had to take her eyes off me for a minute , I apparently had a Guardian Angel , who she'd personally vetted and passed fit for service .
The warm , fuzzy feeling of being safe from any slight harm carried on till my teens , when I promptly made it my life's work to avoid the sensible and safe .
But now it's 2015 , the world has changed and Health and Safety have taken up Granny's role .

This last few days I've been warned about 'functional sharp points' on an otherwise perfect packet of colour pencils ...


and of the possibility of a problem with my box of Free Range Eggs . Under Possible Allergens , it baldly said EGGS .
Good to know , though I was more alarmed by the fluorescent white shells  . Perhaps next time , they could include the word Leghorn prominently on the box , as well  ...

 
The new packaging on Hema's cold meat range pulls no punches either  The smoked chicken fillet might , apparently , have traces of , among other substances  : fish, shellfish , beef ,  carrots , coriander , invertebrates  , kamut and oats . Fish  ??

 
 
I briefly wondered about the warning on the folder in Husband's new medicine , too .



Unsuitable for people with beards ?
No .  It seems to be  "Avoid if you can't swallow tablets" ... just in case you'd missed the word TABLETS on the box . Husband has survived .

But I think the leaflet in a sample tube of  Diaclin foot cream , being handed out the other day at the chemist , wins this week's prize for customer care . Should I  ever overcome my reluctance to indiscriminately firebomb any and all bacteria that might find themselves on my insteps , I hope I'd be able to work out how to apply the stuff all by myself .



But I'm still comforted to think they care  . I feel cocooned , in fact ....

10 comments:

materfamilias said...

Too funny! Thanks for the chuckle.

love those cupcakes said...

I ate a bag of nuts last night which thoughtfully came with a 'Contains nuts' warning. Of course, I ate them whilst wearing a high viz jacket and displaying a warning triangle.

Annie Cholewa said...

Hilarious.

I struggle to swallow tablets, and my GP prescribes ever bigger ones ... clearly I need to move abroad for the sake of my health!

English Rider said...

The image with the pills makes me worry that they meant "Not to be taken by mouth". Are you sure they are not suppositories?

Jocelyn said...

Unsafe for men with beards? BAHA!

The world is so saturated with warning labels that they've become like the boy crying wolf: I just don't pay 'em any mind.

Mise said...

My heart skipped a beat at the threat of eggs from an egg-carton, but a glass of brandy has quietened my nerves now and I hope that you are quite safe.

Liz Hinds said...

Oh wonderful! You're right: it is so silly. Everyone is terrified of being sued I suppose.

Although I would never have worked out what that tablet warning meant!

Liz Hinds said...

Oh and any chicken in the chicken fillets?

rachel said...

Invertebrates? Why can I only think of earthworms? Aiiiiiiii!!!!!!!

Marcheline said...

HA! Thanks for the laugh!