No , I haven't slipped down the back of the sofa or gone off on a round the world trip ...
I've just been pursuing a certain Pokemon character . I've got the whole thing down to a T .
Pick the toy shop with the most plastic clutter in the window . Fight your way though a sea of pink sparkly things and fluffy things . Interrupt one of the employees who is rushing out of the stock room with a trolley piled high with shiny boxes .
The best informed member of staff usually looks too young to work anywhere . You might in fact remember him from his pre-school meltdown days , in which case don't remind him that he was frightened of the swing or forget to admire his almost-moustache . Don't try to impress him with your computer skills ; let him find the right Pokemon pages.
If they haven't got what you want , don't despair . Have a coffee and look in another shop or two .
By day three , get on a train and widen the search. Eventually, like me, you'll find something roughly right and the manager will throw in a free pack of Pokemon cards, delighted with the prospect of getting rid of you .
On the way back to the station, remember that Birthday Boy and all his/our relatives will need Christmas presents next month .
