We probably all have an age we'd like to be , the age which we picture as The Best Years Of One's Life . And if it were simply a matter of Positive Thinking , how easy it would be . My grandson would be FIVE , the age he'll know everything and be ABSOLUTELY grown-up . I'd settle for my thirties , I think .
But , of course , it's not that simple . He'll have to wait another year-and-twentyfour-days and I can whistle . But I was encouraged this week by a couple of television moments . A BBC series about lesser known Stately Homes had the spritely presenter , Dan Cruikshank , negotiating a secret spiral staircase carrying a brimming chamber pot with his customary enthusiasm . And then the two Geriatric Greedy Italians galloped all over Turin , making and eating enormous plates of delicious food .... as Carluccio said , with Mof Mof ( minimum of fuss , maximum of flavour ) .... and a schoolboy joke involving a camera and a fountain .
I , mind you , do seem to be going backwards all of a sudden . Much to my dental hygienist's amusement I'm , rather painfully , growing a wisdom tooth .
So , instead of the wondrous French anti wrinkle powder shown at the beginning ( just add a drop of water , mix and spread liberally over your wrinkles , rinse off and astonish the world ) , I'm off tomorrow to buy Calpol and a teething ring .