Tuesday, 26 July 2016

Ears Like A Horse...

The coffee break is , apart from the salary , the best thing about working . Once you retire you'll need to find a substitute  .
You know how a horse can point one ear to locate a sound ?  Well , when you don't meet so many people  every day , you'll find you need to develop something similar . Think Lady Bracknell ...  actually if you've ever had or worked with small children  , you already have .


 However busy your hairdresser's is you're never really going to hear anything truly entertaining , holiday destinations apart .
In good Supermarkets , the queues are not allowed to be longer than three customers anymore , so there's less time to  'news-gather'/earwig .  


The local paper's quite good ... I know , for instance , that  they're collecting money for new gnomes for the city farm  and which children have got their swim diploma . Or that if you buy a new bra in Stien's lingerie shop , you'll get a discount if you donate your old one ( they''ll send it to Rumania ... no , I can't think why either ) . But our paper's  going on holiday for a couple of weeks .

Which just leaves listening shamelessly to people in cafes or trains


" I'm allergic to everything . I can't help it , I can't eat anything at all ... I don't eat chicken , I don't eat beef , I don't eat pork . I only eat mince ." said the woman in yellow ... but then the bus arrived .

 There was the group of women sitting next to me as we all ate sandwiches in the park , who were discussing some their exes   ,  "Well , once he said that , I could see the message behind the message ... "   Everyone in a quarter mile radius nodded ...

Or the young girl on the train chronicling her food poisoning over the weekend to her mates , "I'd only had a few vodkas and a Berenburg earlier on Friday and Joris had made something with coconut and cider but I threw up the pea soup straight away on Saturday . Even the tiramisu made me queasy ... "...

In fact , sometimes there doesn't even need to be a conversation .
A young girl waiting for a train in Utrecht was carrying a large bag printed with "Awesome Shoes Take You To Awesome Places "... I hope they had , she was now wearing flip-flops and a BandAid .

I know , I'm just nosy ...

11 comments:

lovethosecupcakes said...

Not nosy. Curious. I eavesdrop all the time. It's become a hobby.

Overheard at an open gardens event: 'And he's got a serious hair problem. He looks like a polar bear.'

English Rider said...

There being no strangers in the World, only friends you have yet to meet...of course you must keep up with what's going on in their lives

Liz Hinds said...

Your newspaper's going on holiday?!

Strangely enough I was talking to a couple I knew in the supermarket today and we were discussing what we thought was the peculiarly Welsh habit of chatting to strangers in queues.

Also a friend of mine collects bras to go to Africa. Women with bras are seen as being better class - I don't think I mean class but more like having more power, and less likely to be raped.

Lucille said...

I'm so happy that you remembered your eavesdrops - that's a splendid sample. I know I've heard some good ones but they evaporate, like dreams or joke punchlines.

artistfriend said...

What a lovely laugh-out-loud post! Just what I needed. My daughter did some volunteer work in Rumanis and all the women wanted her bra...

Cro Magnon said...

The only interesting conversations I happen to overhear are always from women. Maybe men have nothing interesting to gossip about.

Friko said...

you want chat? come to Valley’s End.
Funny, I’ve just posted about the joys of Village conversations.

Elizabeth Musgrave said...

I know, I know. I hear things that you simply wouldn't believe anyone would say. It must be how Victoria Wood wrote her marvellous stuff, just by really listening.

Molly Bon said...


Cro Magnon is right! Men only talk about business or, ad nauseam, sports! Eavesdropping on teenagers, of both genders can make me blush. I must be an old fogey -- but even pretty girls can open their mouths and instantly make me think they're only "pretty" on the outside. When did cursing and crude talk become fashionable, mainstream, acceptable? Count me as a fossil! Worst of all though are the "organ recitals." "I'm fine thank you," works for me. Depending on who you're talking to though, following it up with "And you?" can be like stepping into a minefield. Much funnier if you're eavesdropping than if you're directly in the line of fire!

Joanne Noragon said...

I only overhear conversations in the gym, and then mostly between men on adjoining bicycles. Once I listened to two men discussing the shenanigans of two accounting firms I was familiar with. After fifteen minutes I inserted a knowing comment, and they shut up. Like clams.

Jenny Woolf said...

I wish I could remember the things I have overheard. I try never to intervene but when I heard a group of teenagers arguing about what "twilight" meant I was rather tempted. There is a popular teen fiction vampire series called Twilight, and they weren't sure what it REALLY meant.